Sunday, January 4, 2009

Damn Winter BlueZ

I can't help but sing the blues from time to time, considering we all experience little moments of it, we can all relate. Feeling blue, is only the first course of a multi course meal of emotions that surround many of us this time of year, especially if the whole S.A.D. is part of your life, which it is mine, and it sure can hit like a freight train going down the tracks a bit too fast. Seems to come out of nowhere.
Freezing rain.
Granted, during January it can be a hell of a sunny month, but it's also one of the coldest months of the year here in Minnesota. It's when the roads become sheets of ice and the sun is shining brilliant, teasing me in the sky with it's fire and warmth, while I sit millions of miles below it, never being able to feel it.
I keep getting this funny picture of the person who is trapped in an ice vault, full of windows, and right outside the door is a warm and blazing fire, but the person in the ice vault Just can't reach it.
It's RIGHT THERE, but always out of reach.
Kind of depressing, but such is life.
In a few more month, I'll celebrate yet another year around the sun, and that's when the ice melts and the whole world becomes all fresh n fuzzy.
You can bet I'll be outside with my camera, snapping pictures of every fresh little blade of grass, and the multi coloured dragon flies that fill the hills and forests around my world.
Things get a little stale this time of year. I'm not the WINTER SPORTS kind of person. I don't like being cold. I don't like being hot either. Spring and Fall blaze me up with everything, and the summer bogs me down with intense heats. Winters are my least favorite. While they're beautiful, yes....but to step outside and take that little sniff of scentless air, making your nostrils pinch together...making your back shiver like a terrified puppy....OOO i hate that!
I hate cold car seats (mine has a nice lil seat warmer in it, and thankfully stays parked and happy in my garage) but Shopping is a different story. Super Markets don't have heated underground parking...
Add to this, the dreaded PTSD I experience while driving.
2 horrible accidents that weren't my fault, getting bashed at 70mph by someone who just wasn't paying attention, makes the experience unbearable in the winter ice/snow/slush. I prefer to stay put, walk that treadmill, arrange my life....and when it warms up again, I'll be more than eager to feel the grass under my bare feet, the warm wind on my face, and start the Awesome Garden we plant every year.
the heat is on, my favorite sweatshirt is getting softer and more worn from all the washing and the wear, things pile up around me because I'm just not 'in the spirit' to do much with it. Spring Fever.....OoooOOO I love it, when that first day comes where we can open our window, even for one night, and walk to the mailbox in a t-shirt and jeans. When the snow melts and that brilliant first green pops out....
I'll just keep thinking of that....
They say happiness is something to look forward to, so I'm going to cast my line to March, and keep reeling in the days closer and closer, til I have it in my hands again, and I can sit out on the front steps in a brilliant sun and watch the world Grow again.
But for now, it's just too bad we can't hibernate for 5-6 months and dream the winter off.

Self Portrait

Self Portrait
This is Not a Drawing