Saturday, August 23, 2008

Butterfly Blue- The Story

In 1994 I knew and loved a very Charismatic Soul. Eric wrote, played guitar like some abstract dream, he was a freelance artist as well, painted and drew amazing pieces of art, was the father to a lil girl named Cheyanne, and one of my best friends...he was loved by a whole community of people that were drawn to him like he was the light in the darkness.
I remember it was raining out, and it was late at night, I was walking to my reg. gig at a local cafe in Minneapolis, and stopped by one of my favorite cafe's on the way "Laughing Cup" was the name of it. My friend Rob walked toward me...he was much quieter than usual, and he said "Suzen? heard that Eric is dead right?" Of course I thought he was kidding, I tried to laugh but tears filled my eyes, my guitar dropped to the floor... "He took his own life last night....."
I walked to the cafe, and asked the owner if I could put a candle on each table and we dimmed the lights as I dedicated that night to Eric.
A few months later, he was in a brief dream, and within a day or two of the dream...he wrote through me ( i don't even understand this myself)...
My pen touched the paper, my hand moved, the words came out that I didn't understand...until I realized this song was writen Thru HIS eyes.

Butterfly Blue *December 1994, in memory of Eric Erickson*

Standpoint beside me, I'm in my bed
and sleeping beside me, I'm deep in my head
I can't tell you, how I am today
lookin outside of me, it all seems so grey
----this verse is the depression, 'standpoint beside me' means be near me when i go'----

Now everything is in black and white
everything is grey, nothing lasts for very long
when we throw away the pain.
----how he sees the world at this point as is dark...realizing once he ends the pain....nothing lasts any longer.---

What happened to me, it can happen to you
paint my whole picture a Butterfly B lue
Like the end of hte summer, the beginning of the cold
wrap me up in heaven, outside of this snow.
----what eric did, and felt can happen to anyone, life ending is like the end of summer, the beginning of the cold...death is cold----

Colors change and go away
it's something we can't explain
the body dies and the spirit flies, into the cold grey rain.
---taking ones own life may be one of the saddest coldest things we can experience, however it is we experience it..rain is also cleansing----

Between goodness, and illusions, I thought I saw a light
I put a needle in a pinhole, and gave up on my fight
Between heaven and insanity, Somewhere I am
I just lost my whole world when I gave up on my pain.
---This is from eric....putting a needle in a pinhole is *Shooting up* enough of that and it led to how he actually left this planet.....Being btwn heaven and insanity, visually to me is one scarey place, but yet a place some feel very familiar represents change and darkness and sadness all at once.----

Now people come and people go, it happens all the time
ending your life with a Silverstone, leaves me hanging on to mine
colors change and when we close our eyes, nothing is ever the same
the body dies and the spirit tries to get on thru the rain....
----this is writen from My point o view..."Silverstone" represents a bullet.----

Put out the candles...put out the light....hush them with your lullabye....
---that is our song to him......that is us letting go.----

Much Love and Light, Warmth and Peace to Eric.

Self Portrait

Self Portrait
This is Not a Drawing