Dirty Sick Perversion

Awhile back, about a year ago or longer...
I was looking at a friend's tattoo picture, in Second Life,
it was on the back of the person that posed for the photo, very tribal.
At the time I am in 'sponge mode' meaning I am absorbing everything and anything around me,
This..Tattoo, somehow inspired the song Dirty Sick Perversion....
I grabbed my guitar and wrote this song.

I thought that you

might have stood true
you slide back to
un perv er ted

in the rare light
of pure en ig ma
my head spins out
i can't feel ya

Slide down my
broken stair way
feel me tie you
in my own way
FLY deep into
my deep perversion
you can't get there
you can't have this

i was un der
your dark liqued
swimming tattood
can't feel childhood

hold that thought in
side your dirty mind
hold this cold ink
on your hands and... (chorus)

Slide your hands in
to my stairway
tie me down in
to your sick ways
Find my sweet spot
stay in side me
i wanna feel those
things that bind me.....down.....

Autumn's Euphoria

the hummingbirds have left, they have been replaced by yellow jackets, the hornet. i miss them already.
the barn swallows are sparse, most have gone also, i miss their song, i miss the silvery black tongue of the ruby throated hummingbirds, dipping into the red nectar feeder outside my window.
it hits me like that...when the morning suddenly is darker, and breath i suck in and out of me, hangs like a puff of white smoke...the feeling of having a hot cup of java outside in the morning, because the air is crisp and it makes me love my coffee even more.
as i drive, the leaves are letting go and blowing aimlessly around, reminding me of the blustery day in the Winnie the Pooh stories...sky is a bit more grey, the brilliance of summer blues starts to fade, the beautiful fluff of the green grass, has gone a bit stiff...

and all the Crows sit together in one bare naked black tree, penciled in black against that white sky..there is something beautiful about it, something eerie and discorded.
the world even sounds different, like a certain 'thickness' of summer humidity has left, and the world is a little louder. it's euphoric, every year it touches me, whispering sickly "i'm back" and i shiver with a certain tinge of excitement. yeah i know what's coming for me, it is my dear friend, my favorite nightmare, the one thing i can't stand, the one thing i crave, and that is the sound of my pen on paper, the sound of a dry brilliantly colored leaf making that scratch against the pavement, the way apple cider smells while listening to someone play the guitar around a campfire, That.
my lack of 'normalacy' is suddenly replaced by manic euphoric inspiration riding thru me like cold hard waves, picking me up in a murky warmth and comfort, tossing me thru different channels like someone else is holding the remote control, turning, changing, turning, changing never stopping, or never knowing just where...i will end up...i only know that wherever i end up, i will not know what to expect, it's just the simpleness of accepting, and it's easy.
all the words in the world pile up in my head as if seeking shelter from everyone else's mind, storing themselves and taking up residence in my head...stuffed fully...head feeling bloated with words, emotions, colors, senses all magnified like the sun just landed on my body, burning.......til it pours itself out like cool water, empty...that temporary relief doesn't last long, before the cycle pours on me again
and it's always beautiful
and it's always painful
and it's always worth everything that happened to get there...because it's mine, it's my 'birth' that comes out, it's my 'life' that comes out, somehow...so i can see it.

Flowers Against My Dress-Seven Sacred Secrets.

Originally Titled "Cover Me Red"...this is Flowers Against My Dress.

This song is about a certain loss of innocense. Not the teenage stuff, or the first love stuff, nooo not that. More like the kind where you have already bent yourself into the mold of your chosen path, and perhaps for a moment, you bent in a new way, a way that is unfamiliar, a way that makes you stronger, because you moved in a different direction.
So after an amazing visit to Georgia, and one of the most amazing Music Fests I've ever heard or participated in....I wrote Flowers.

I sat under the sun, under the stars
and i strummed on the strings of my guitar
i sat barefoot on the grass, under the moon
singing wooden knowledge, just a little out of tune.
*when i was younger, about 21, I used to have long acoustic jams on my rooftop, in wisconsin. i didn't sing much, if at all, i was terribly shy. The guys I played with, would sit there with their guitars, 3am in the morning, playing their originals and covers...one was called "Wooden Knowledge"...one of their own songs. I clearly remember that song, ...that is where that phrase comes from.

I held my candle high, higher than the rest
and i stood in the garden with your flowers against my dress
i looked high, high, higher than the sky
beyond the beauty of the watercolor in your eyes.
* i hold my candle higher than the rest, because i have a desire to be noticed for what I present inside that light that I shine....and the 'flowers against y dress' is symbolic of taking something that does not belong to me, and holding it against what i am identifying myself with..my dress, dress is symbolic of a sort of 'female persuasion' an innocent, yet powerful borderline religious and sinful type emotion...that is what that part represents.
I looked HIGH, because this song represents looking beyond the present..beyond the 'art' beyond what the 'artist' is representing....more into what is not being said, just known.

I saw great White Wings fly high across the sky
and i thought about the color that colored you and i
i stood barefoot on the ground,naked in the wind
i said Mother Nature, Lets Get Together Again
I said Hey...Hey Hey...Help me please, i got 7 sacred secrets that will bury me....
*this is an intrusion into 'Mother Nature" what is natural. Great White Wings, is the Great White Eagle, which in the Native American roots (which I am)...it means Father, God.
Standing barefoot and naked.....is vulnerability, Exposure. Daring Mother Nature to mess with my fate.

I get down like a child on my knees
I speak to no one that has no name, not to me
I say Lord, oh Lord,make it clear please
wash me in the river, make my spirit shiver, rain on me.
* i pray when i'm scared...I don't believe in anything, just something...it has no name. "Wash me in the river"....simply meaning 'clean me of my sin, makeme new,make me feel'.

Forgive me Lord, I did not tell the truth
I was layin int eh water, i was prayin on the roof
let me see, let me see a light,
something i can feel, something that is real, in my life.
I said Hey...Hey Hey...Help me please, i got 7 sacred secrets that will bury me....
* We often....being the humans we are, deny things that happen in our lives, that line.....forgive me....is about sheltering oneself from truth.......Layin in the water...............is baptisim of transition...we all enter new phases, every day of our life, some bigger than others. Let me see a light.......is asking to see a lil directino, a lil guidance, some hope....it's asking....and "Something i can feel.........
i believe sometimes we all lack the emotions we so crave....sometimes we need those lil wake up calls.